Listen to God's voice at the foot of the crucifix." ~St. Gaspar del Bufaro~

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Going Faceless

Is anyone else Unplugging in (some way) for Lent?
Facebook, Television, or Other?
Heading to the desert...?


This is a difficult thing to do these days as we are so accustomed to getting instant information and being connected to anything and everything.


I love the thought of simplifying our lives and homes...And also our souls for Lent.  I don't know about you but sometimes the input is more than I can bare.


I've been dreaming about UNplugging from some of my Internet usage ever since I read this beautiful article from our Holy Father about silence as an essential part of communication.  He delivered this message as part of World Communications Day, 2012. Here is how it begins:
On this "World Communications Day 2012, I would like to share with you some reflections concerning an aspect of the human process of communication which, despite its importance, is often overlooked and which, at the present time, it would seem especially necessary to recall. It concerns the relationship between silence and word: two aspects of communication which need to be kept in balance, to alternate and to be integrated with one another if authentic dialogue and deep closeness between people are to be achieved".


I've been holding off until Lent as it seemed like a natural time to make the break...
I don't Twitter or use Pinterest so I'm going "Faceless" as I've heard the term used for giving up Facebook.  


Having access to all of my favorite Catholic news sources and favorite blogs is definitely my favorite thing about Facebook. It still amazes me that we have access to such wonderful information but at the same time, I also find myself getting saturated with a little too much news and stuff to read.  Speaking for myself, it has become overwhelming, as of late, and time consuming, to say the least... 
I was thinking maybe it was "just me"... Until I read these
words of the Holy Father help to explain why this is:
 "The process of communication nowadays is largely fuelled by questions in search of answers. Search engines and social networks have become the starting point of communication for many people who are seeking advice, ideas, information and answers. ... Indeed, people today are frequently bombarded with answers to questions they have never asked and to needs of which they were unaware. If we are to recognise and focus upon the truly important questions, then silence is a precious commodity that enables us to exercise proper discernment in the face of the surcharge of stimuli and data that we receive".


This really spoke to me as I know that I have definitely felt bombarded with information that I have never thought much about before.  
This helped seal the deal...My brain needs a rest and so does my soul.


However, the questions I DO have about the "social" part of Social Networking never DO really get answered.  Do you ever get that notion? So I'm going out on a limb here, just like the tallest limb in that tree photo...


One of my questions is regarding the false friendships that exist in the Facebook world.  Don't get me wrong, I have some lovely friends but somehow they get caught up in the murky waters behind the ones that aren't so nice.  Do you ever just want to go through your list and hack away?


Is it just me or do you have a few friends (in real life) that act like you don't exist on Facebook?  I just don't get it.  These are people I know well, who live close by, but they just don't act like they know I'm there...They might even dance around me but just choose to ignore, even when you make a constant effort to interact with them.  What would you make of a "friend" like this?


Then I ask myself the question...Why wouldn't one of your "real friends" want to encourage you, support you? And most importantly,
why am I starting to wonder who my "real friends" are?  This is ridiculous.


Then there's friends that I haven't been in touch with for years who pop up out of nowhere on Facebook...I have one of those friends who I love dearly and I was so excited when I got her "friend request."  Since then, I've left her many notes and messages but nothing is ever returned, no reply, nothing, nada.  What's that supposed to mean?  
Doesn't "social networking" imply that you want to have conversation?


Obviously, I'm spending too much time thinking about things when I should be praying in silence somewhere and contemplating the important questions in life, as the Holy Father suggests.  I'm banning myself to the desert!


Yet how do we avoid these "other questions"?
I could go on with a battery of questions, trying to understand many aspects of social networking, while having a sneaky feeling that I never will.
Is all of this putting me in a place to sin?  
This is the part that concerns me...The constant test of charity can be draining.  Boy, this is starting to feel like Confession!


Well, our dear Holy Father must have seen me coming with my restless questioning of superficial interactions that are driving me crazy!
  "Ultimately, this constant flow of questions demonstrates the restlessness of human beings, ceaselessly searching for truths, of greater or lesser import, that can offer meaning and hope to their lives. Men and women cannot rest content with a superficial and unquestioning exchange of sceptical opinions and experiences of life - all of us are in search of truth".
 "Attention should be paid to the various types of websites, applications and social networks which can help people today to find time for reflection and authentic questioning, as well as making space for silence and occasions for prayer, meditation or sharing of the word of God. In concise phrases, often no longer than a verse from the Bible, profound thoughts can be communicated, as long as those taking part in the conversation do not neglect to cultivate their own inner lives. It is hardly surprising that different religious traditions consider solitude and silence as privileged states which help people to rediscover themselves and that Truth which gives meaning to all things. The God of biblical revelation speaks also without words: 'As the Cross of Christ demonstrates, God also speaks by His silence"
Meaning and hope...That's what I'm talking about! There you go, finally an answer to all of the questioning, regardless of what the questions are about. Making more space for silence and occasion for prayer is obviously in order.  He goes on...
 "If God speaks to us even in silence, we in turn discover in silence the possibility of speaking with God and about God. ... In speaking of God's grandeur, our language will always prove inadequate and must make space for silent contemplation. Out of such contemplation springs forth, with all its inner power, the urgent sense of mission, the compelling obligation 'to communicate that which we have seen and heard' so that all may be in communion with God".
How beautiful is that?
  "In silent contemplation, then, the eternal Word, through Whom the world was created, becomes ever more powerfully present and we become aware of the plan of salvation that God is accomplishing throughout our history by word and deed. ... This plan of salvation culminates in the person of Jesus of Nazareth, the mediator and the fullness of all revelation. He has made known to us the true face of God the Father and by His Cross and Resurrection has brought us from the slavery of sin and death to the freedom of the children of God. The fundamental question of the meaning of human existence finds in the mystery of Christ an answer capable of bringing peace to the restless human heart. The Church's mission springs from this mystery; and it is this mystery which impels Christians to become heralds of hope and salvation, witnesses of that love which promotes human dignity and builds justice and peace.

  "Word and silence: learning to communicate is learning to listen and contemplate as well as speak. This is especially important for those engaged in the task of evangelisation: both silence and word are essential elements, integral to the Church's work of communication for the sake of a renewed proclamation of Christ in today's world".


There is so much to think and pray about here in these powerful words of our Pope, isn't there?  The whole article just filled my spirit.  Yet I wonder... Where and how can I ever begin to heed his advice with all of my imperfections?Talk about a balancing act...  Once again, a restless question rises with an answer that must lie somewhere within... and not online. 


   I have a feeling that contemplation about all of this and stepping back a bit will be a good thing for me.  I need a little bit of work on those listening skills too so I think my Lenten work is cut out for me:)


I have to note that my blog posts are connected to my Family At The Foot of the Cross Facebook Page automatically.  I don't know how to disconnect those, even though I'm not logging on to Facebook?  They might continue to appear even though I'm not logging on.  I'm not going to worry about it too much as I will continue to blog right here in this little space.  I do find meaning and hope, here among friends. 


Peace for this restless human heart sounds perfect right about now!  Wishing anyone who visits here a blessed Lenten journey...May it be a fruitful period of reflection and spiritual growth for your precious soul.













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34 comments:

  1. praise God for your willingness to sacrifice and seek Him in the silence.

    my family is unplugging from tv, radio in the home, internet/email/texting use on the cell phone, and i will be limiting my internet time (as determined by Dad). i went faceless last year.

    in Lent 2009, i was brought to blogging and FB by previous messages from World Communications Day.

    i feel compelled, on many levels, to leave. fr. v summed it up best, "I do not do this because of a dislike for any person but rather out of a sense of urgency and a desire to be part of the restoration of all things in Christ which I see to be necessary...I see the detrimental influence of pervasive and invasive technology which hinders the proper understanding and application of the natural law which is a necessary foundation to understanding the Super natural Law."

    i'm remaining still as i continue to discern. i pray that He will show me the way this lent.

    pax Christi, lena
    p.s. sorry that this is so long -- late + illness = bad combo for posting

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    1. I hear what you are saying, Lena! Prayers all the way around:)

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  2. Im so glad you're not giving up blogging during Lent. I can count as spiritual works of mercy. Instruct, Aid, Counsel, need I go on? :-)

    There's a share link on this blog to fb. I'm sure someone who knows how to blog (not me--I'm too new!) can tell you how to disconnect that link.

    Your Sister in Christ, Kara

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    1. Thank you, Kara! You ARE a dear sister in Christ:)

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  3. Tiffany, I too am going faceless. As of yesterday, I signed off for forty days. As for the facebook world, I occasionally use it to interact with close friends, but mostly for those far away. Perhaps your friends feel the same. I have also had to go through my "friend" and snip, snip away at deleting those that I don't know well or who I don't interact with.

    Ask yourself, "Is this person contributing to making or supporting me in the role that God has given me?" If the answer is no, then delete. :) This helped cut down the list considerably. Just don't delete those that He may have in mind for you to mentor.

    In Christ, Kat

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    1. Great advice, Kat...Just what I needed. Thank you for being God's faithful messenger:)

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  4. I went faceless last year and stayed off (until recently to share news of new baby). I was tired of it making me feel negative. It was the best thing. Now, I like the updates from companies, etc. more than personal comments - in general - as many of my "friends" are not true friends.

    This year I have no set plans of unplugging. My Lent is simple this year with a newborn. I would love to unplug totally one day a week and just have a family day. This is more to get dad unplugged and all of us doing something together rather than trudging through another day.

    God bless, and thank you for a lovely post!

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    1. You nailed in Nicole...FB was making me feel very negative. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It was perfect:)

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  5. Oh! Thank you so much for sharing those words from our Holy Father! So perfect for the season and truly good and beautiful. I am not on Facebook and don't think I will be until (or if) my children move out and sign up. Then I will have to do it and friend them of course. lol. But I am too scattered and sensitive as it is. I don't think it would be very good for my me. I am too weak.

    God bless you and you family this Lent... may you find Him in the silence now and ever more.

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    1. Consider yourself blessed for not being on FB, Melody...That's great. I know what you mean about feeling weak...That is exactly where I am right now. Pulling back to refill the fuel tank for my soul is just what the Divine Physician is calling for. Thank you for sharing!

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  6. Yes, thank you for our Holy Father's words. I, too, like Melody, am not on Facebook (gasp!) I thought I was the only one left who hasn't signed up for it. It all seems kind of High school-ish to me. It's never appealed to me. Neither has Twitter or Pinterest. That being said, doesn't mean I don't spend too much time on already. I think that is why I don't do the other things, because it's a way of controlling my computer time. It's always a balancing act, isn't it?

    I hope you find the peace you need for lent this year and God speaks to you in profound ways. (I think He already does in your posts to us!)

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    1. Just as I mentioned to Melody...What a blessing to have one less thing in your life. Keeping things simple is my call right now. Thank you for sharing the road on this walk of faith, Jamie:)

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  7. I am not on FB, twitter, pinterest... I never have been. However, I know my mother and my sister have had their feelings hurt, have found themselves in the middle of family squabbles... I was trying to follow too many blogs, but have tried to narrow it down to just a few... I need to step away from television! I watch Fox News channel way too much... my brain is on overload! Peace and prayers this Lenten season. +JMJ+

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  8. The whole "social network" thing is interesting isn't it? I have to say I like blogging best :) FB can be weird I agree. It is frustrating to reach out to someone and get no response. Maybe we still feel like we are in touch with someone b/c we are friends on FB. Opens up a whole new can of worms huh? Lots to ponder during Lent! Enjoy going Faceless!

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    1. I like blogging best too, Jen! Thanks for pondering with me:)

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  9. I went Faceless last year and LOVED it so much that I did not return til Fall! I gave it up again three weeks ago too and still not missing it. I do have a handful of friends that I let know that I was leaving for Lent. We scaled down to basic cable last year (19 channels) and loved that too. Too much stimulation is not good for this momma's mind!I want to do it again this year, but, it is being met with some contention. We are however moving the Wii back to Grandma's house for Lent.
    May you find peace in Christ this Lent.

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    1. I can so relate, Ann-Marie! May you find peace this Lent as well:)

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  10. Hi Tiffany,

    I am on Facebook. I deleted my account about 18 months ago and then I went back. The side of FB I do like is networking between members of support groups. I am involved in a couple of grief ministries and we use FB to stay in touch with each other. Whenever I think about unplugging, I know I can't do it unless I want to withdraw from these ministries. So saying that, I check my notifications FAR too often!! I could easily spend less time online and more in silence. Thank you for the Holy Father's words and your post which is very thought provoking.

    May God bless you, especially this Lent.

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    1. I can empathize with your position, dear Sue! Thanks for sharing and peace of Christ to you, this Lent:)

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  11. I totally prefer blogging. I totally get what you are saying!

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  12. Hi Tiffany, I did enjoy reading with Pope Benedict said about social networking and restlessness. I'm not a big fan of FB since there is so much meaningless chatter on it. I'm not interested to hear that a friend just came back from shopping or is going out to dinner with friends. Superficial chatter that clutters the mind. I understand some people like to post about what they're doing and that's fine but I don't find engaging in those FB conversations productive. I much prefer to read blog posts!

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    1. I much prefer reading blog posts as well, Noreen! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us here:)

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  13. I'm very much with you on the Faceless Lent. To illustrate how much I was "on" Facebook, when I posted that I was giving up Facebook my husband commented "I give this until 7:30 tonight". I keep in touch with family in New England and friends from High School and Grade School, but you're right- it's got to the point that I need to hack a bunch off when I go back on. I truly use Facebook to communicate, but it does get ridiculous when all I'm seeing on my news feed is "at [national chain store] with [a friend I may or may not know]" or even better (my dad is guilty of this) "Mayor of [location] via FourSquare"... silly.

    God Bless you this Lenten Season!

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    1. Oh yes, we all need a wake up call every once in awhile, don't we? Isn't God so good that way!? Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  14. Tiffany, this is a lovely reflective post. thank you for the words of our Holy Father. I agree with you on the whole "friend" thing. My online friendships with Catholic blogging moms are so meaningful to me -- call it silly, but I find such a bond there, sharing with you and other moms how we stay on our path to holiness, how we teach our children in the ways of Christ, and how we encourage eachother when we fail. blessed Lent!!

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    1. You're not silly, Gardenia...I feel the same way about my blog friends. I am thankful for all of you, each day!

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  15. I loved this post. I am often frustrated with the lack of real communication on Facebook, more often then not, it has felt like I was trying to talk using bumper stickers and bad one liners. The ability to express a complete thought is simply foreign to the Facebook format. You just cannot truly connect with someone through a text message, and Facebook often seems no better.

    I am all for social media bringing people together, but I often fear that it just pushes people further apart, with a semblance of togetherness.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Dance and nice to meet you. I think so many of us hear what you are saying and totally agree. There are some great benefits to social networking but the gap in the "real"communication can certainly lead to disappointment. How to have a balanced participation is certainly a challenge!

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  16. I'm so glad to hear someone else say it! I went "faceless" during Lent for 3 years in a row. After the first few uncomfortable days of withdraw I really enjoyed the silence and extra time in God's word and prayer, by the end of Lent I felt calmer and more patient. However, when I signed back on I felt the anxiety and occasional discontent quickly seeping back in. I had no desire to sign back on after Lent last year it just felt like the healthy thing for me to do was forgo social networking. Signing off brought great insight into my "friendships" and led me to eventually reevaluate my relationships and nurture, repair, or let go. Now I enjoy my friends who have time for a cup of coffee and real conversation about things that matter. I also enjoy a whole lot more quiet and calm. Enjoy your Facelessness this Lent, I hope you are rejuvenated and experience a closer relationship with God.

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    1. Great comment and thanks for stopping by! I can really relate to your comment. I am feeling rejuvenated already...Especially after better efforts to have those real conversations that matter. Thanks again and God Bless your Lent:)

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  17. I have being meaning to get back and respond since I read your post. Thank you, as always, for sharing your thoughts (and our Holy Father's). I am also trying to pull back for "screen time" during Lent. It is difficult now that I have gotten so on board with it- many of our school items are done on the computer and I am used to being able to pull up an answer to a question without thumbing through an encyclopedia.

    Our family read this article and we are going to try to fast from artificial light for one day a week. I am not sure how it is going to go. Monday is going to be our first day! http://www.ncregister.com/blog/jennifer-fulwiler/8-reasons-to-turn-out-the-lights-during-lent There will be some need during the day to access the computer for school, but after sundown it will all be left off. We'll limit it during the day to "no frivolous use".

    Happy Lent!

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    1. I saw that article too...Great idea on the artificial light! Thanks for sharing that here too, Laurie. Something about candle light is so peaceful. Lenten blessings!

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  18. Oh how I can relate. People seem to eager to friend me on facebook... then don't even connect with me? Not a word? People that I actually know in real life. But I have to say I have made so many amazing new connections too! We are doing some unplugging during Lent. Nice to change focus! :)

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