Listen to God's voice at the foot of the crucifix." ~St. Gaspar del Bufaro~

Saturday, April 12, 2014

A Letter To My Husband's Murderers In Honor Of Good Friday


Good Friday~ 2014

Dear Souls~ ( All 3 of you)

This year is the 20th Anniversary of the evening you killed my husband, Chris Walter, while robbing him on Good Friday, April 2, 1994.  My heart still races in terror as I remember witnessing the mortal gunshot wound to his head while you attempted to escape in a getaway car...All while our precious 6 month old baby lay sleeping nearby. Rushing to my husband's side, I only found innocent blood gushing from his lifeless body.

For years, I struggled with anger and hate for you 3 strangers who wrecked Good Friday

Not this Good Friday
It's 20 years later and I don't hate you anymore. 
I still hate what you did but I don't hate you in the slightest bit. 

You, just like me, were created by God and He loves us more than we could ever imagine.  Even though we betray Him or turn our backs on him, He still hopes that we will all come back to Him, to know His love for us and be with Him in heaven someday.  I hope this for you, just as much as I hope this for myself and the rest of my family.  We are never happy in this life until we find the living God, who still dwells among us, and run to Him.  He is waiting with open arms and His mercy is endless.  "Though the mountains leave their place and the hills be shaken, My love shall never leave you nor my covenant of peace be shaken, says the Lord, who has mercy on you."~Isaiah 54:10, 14-15

In fact, God loves all of us so much, that He sent his only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us.  He even died a most horrible and murderous death on a cross for all human beings, not just a select few.  It was Good Friday that day too. 

Good Friday is about love and not hate. 

In fact, there was a robber who was crucified right next to Jesus who was forgiven during his dying moments because he had faith in God's son, the Redeemer of the world.  When the robber cried out "Jesus, remember me, when you come into my kingdom, " Jesus cried: "Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43)  The robber's faith set him free.  Even though you have 20 more years in prison, your soul can still find freedom...

While He hung dying on the Cross that Good Friday, Jesus also forgave his own murderers before he died, exclaiming: "Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."  (Luke 23:34)  He knew they could not possibly know what they were doing...If only they believed!

It is here at the foot of the Cross where I find truth and meaning.  God speaks to us there as we all bear our own crosses in this life.  His loving gaze sustains us as He suffered just like we do in all things but sin.  He wants us all to be happy with Him forever.  There is no other love greater than His.

Believing this with all of my heart, I forgive you. 
Believing this with all of my soul, I love you.

Life did not end on that Good Friday 2000 years ago or on that Good Friday 20 years ago.
Life begins on Good Friday because it ends with Easter Sunday.
Christ rose from the dead to prove life...An Eternal life that is free for the choosing.

On this Good Friday, I am praying you will seek and find Him.
On this Good Friday, I am trying to begin again.
On this Good Friday, I hope you will too.

Life, not death, has the last word.
Love wins.
Peace be with you,
Tiffany

"Christ himself bore our sins in his body upon the cross, so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness.  By his wounds, you have been healed." 1 Peter 2:24




22 comments:

  1. From now on, you, your family, and the 3 souls will have a special place in my prayers every Good Friday. Such forgiving and peaceful thoughts. I cannot thank you enough for sharing this post. God bless you always.

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers, Marcia! They still have 20 more years in prison so please pray for their conversion. God bless your Holy Week!

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  2. Tiffany,
    This was heartbreaking to read and I can't begin to imagine the hard journey you have been on to get to the point to write such honest, loving, and forgiving words to those lost souls who took a part of you 20 years ago. Like you, I pray the 3 souls have found their way to know the love of God. Keeping you in my prayers this Holy Week and Easter as you continue to lean on God when life doesn't make sense. You witness for our faith is inspiring! Thank you!

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    1. Thank you for your prayers, Tracy. I won't lie, it's been an extremely difficult journey and it has taken the better part of those 20 years to be where I am now, ONLY by the grace of God. There were many years where I was not a good example of carrying my cross at all! You are so right that a part of you is forever missing. The good news is that no matter how wounded we are, praise be to God, He fills our gaping wounds with his healing gauze. If I can be a witness to hope in any small way, I feel like it's a little thank you to the Lord for saving me from going down into the pit!

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    1. How is that sweet baby doing, Kara? Holy Week blessings to you and family!

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    2. He's a chunk of love! 14 big ones! Go check him out. I finally updated! XOXO. Happy Eastertide dear friend!

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  4. You are a good woman, Tiffany, to choose to love and forgive something so difficult. I will pray for these three people today as well as for you and your family. May God bless you, and thank you as always for writing such a beautiful post that shares your heart and your faith. <3

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    1. Thank you for you prayers, Annita. This road to forgiveness has been a long one but I learned that not to travel that road would be like poisoning the soul. It really was a choice...Life or death. Thank you again for always being such a sweet friend here. May God bless your family in a special way, this Holy Week!

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  5. This was beautiful and emotional to read. I could feel the hardness in my own heart start to give way and melt. God has given you special grace...thank you for sharing.
    ~ Valerie

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    1. Thank you for popping in to share your thoughts, Valerie! I have survived by God's grace alone so I'm glad He's shining through:)

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  6. Tiffany, you are such a gift to all of us. Through your unthinkable pain and suffering through the tragic loss of Chris, you have taught us how God's mercy and forgiveness is tangible. Not just through the lives of the saints who came before us, but in our own day and age. You have been a witness, a shining light, teaching us how to live the Gospel, the Good Friday, and Easter Sunday in through your own story. May God continue to bless you with the strength and courage to carry on, to spread His love and mercy, and to help others who are in great pain. God bless you, Tiffany!

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    1. Thank you so much, my friend! After much suffering on the brink of hopelessness, I am so thankful that God's mercy and love finally shines through. If I can be His instrument of hope for just one person, I would be so happy. Thank you for your constant encouragement and love, dear Patty!

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  7. You have a beautiful heart, Tiffany. Like that of our Blessed Mother's...pierced with a sword, but blooming with roses. God bless you.

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    1. Barbara, I think that's the best compliment I've ever received. You are so kind and generous to even connect me with Our Lady. I'm deeply humbled. God bless your Holy Week and beyond!

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  8. (((HUGS)))
    Oh this is so beautiful, Tiffany! Good for you forgiving and letting go and feeling lighter and more blessed in doing so. This has been with you for so long and has changed everything you know. I am proud of you being able to make this incredible transition to forgiveness...no small feat to do!
    I always think of the three of you on Good Friday and will continue to hold you all in prayer. Were they ever found and convicted?
    May the blessings of Holy week fill you with much grace my sweet friend.

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    1. Holy Week blessings to you too, Ann-Marie! Thank you for your faithful prayers at all times, my friend. They have sustained me, do doubt! Yes, all 3 guys were immediately caught and convicted of Capital Murder. They were given a 40 year prison sentence with no possible parole. Please pray for their conversion as they have 20 more years to go. Peace and love always be with you:)

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  10. For once in my life I have no words. Thank you for the words YOU shared. I am deeply moved.

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by, Nancy!

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