The young woman at the foot of Jesus inspired me yesterday...
Causing me to ask: "How Do I Adore Thee?"
She came from the back of the church, slowly shuffling down the aisle on her knees.
The soft brush of her pants against the carpet signaled her advancement.
As the shuffling grew louder, she drew closer.
She moved past me.
All the while, her gaze was locked on Our Lord, there on the altar.
I was sitting near the front reading Morning Prayer from my Magnificat.
I couldn't resist a continuous glance up from my prayer.
Keeping her eyes fixed on Him, I witnessed a beautiful love story.
Though I must admit that I felt a bit like Martha,
busying myself before the Lord,
my desire to love increased with each passing moment.
With each glance, I was infected by this contagious devotion.
A prayer swept over me:
"Lord, praise and bless this woman who loves You so deeply.
Praise her more than me. Oh yes, Lord, praise her more than me."
Was I feeling inadequate for being Martha instead of Mary?
Maybe.
But only I placed that burden upon myself.
I didn't feel less loved but I questioned my own sense of loving in return.
How Much Do I Adore Thee?
How much do I love God so that I can better love others?
I sat in silence after the young woman left, pondering these questions in my heart.
Penetrating through the depths of my spirit, I heard:
"Come closer, my child."
Practically leaping from the pew, I rapidly moved toward the altar,
kneeling before Jesus, beckoning from the Blessed Sacrament.
Fixing my eyes on Him, my heart followed.
Silence and peace filled my soul as I repeatedly heard:
"Come closer, my child...draw near."
I realized later that the busyness of every day life pushes me to the periphery of the spiritual life, leading me to adore Jesus from a distance.
This changed as an infusion of love surged from the monstrance,
shifting my love from arm's reach into a loving embrace.
Like the inspiring young woman, He desires that all of us come closer,
continually drawing near. There are no exceptions.
He is waiting and beckoning for us all to desire Him as He desires us.
Only then can we begin to love.
I am full of praise for the Mary that drew this Martha a little closer...
Lest I slip back to love at arm's reach,
I must continually ask myself:
"How Do I Adore Thee?"
you bear your heart so selflessly to us Tiffany. and I in turn come away feeling inspired or humbled or grateful! Isn't it wonderful the way Jesus opens out eyes to deeper love when we are ready for it.
ReplyDeleteTiffany, I cannot even write what is in my heart. I can only read Gardenia's comment and just silently agree in an Amen.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your ponderings.
ReplyDeleteWow! Whenever I go to Adoration or attend a group Holy Hour or daily Mass, I always sit in the back (unless I'm the lector.) I guess it's my way of saying I'm not worthy to come closer (plus I enjoy being able to see all of the other people who are there.)
ReplyDeleteMaybe I've got it wrong-maybe I should be right in front, as close as I can get. I will pray about it, to learn if God is calling me to come closer in prayer and not let all of the other people distract me from Him.
Now, I have just been elected president of Roses for Our Lady, a group that promotes devotion to the Blessed Mother and holds a monthly Holy Hour for Vocations. Not that being president is a position of pride-instead it is a position of service. But,would it appear prideful if I kneeled in the front row instead of the back at the next Holy Hour? Hmmm...something else to pray about. I think this is good food for prayer and for a blog post.
Thanks Tiffany!
I just was introduced to your blog by way of Anne Bender. Love it! Thank you for being a bright light in the world!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful thoughts pondering the love of God.
ReplyDelete