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Monday, July 9, 2012

Saying Farewell With Mary

College Send-off Party~University of Dallas "Crusader Cake Plops"

As a mother trying to prepare for my first child and oldest son to leave home for college in 6 short weeks, I wonder how in the world Mary said farewell to Jesus that first time?  Notice I didn't say goodbye?  I dislike that word as it implies such finality. I try to picture the whole scene in my mind to draw comfort...For heaven sakes, did Mary cry? 
As the Mother of God she was free of sin but it certainly isn't a sin to cry.  As Jesus left home to start His public ministry, I can imagine that Mary must have cried... tears undoubtedly flowed from the blessed eyes of Our Lady as she watched her Son walk away from home for the first time.  Don't you think she felt the pang of this moment in time, a youthful innocence now part of her past?  The life of the Holy Family was different now...Was she prepared? At the same time, I picture her as a model of heroic faith, full of grace, compassion, and love.  She must have felt so grateful for the time she had with her Son.  For the umpteenth time, She must have been honored to be His mother.
In many ways we can identify with Mary as we raise our children, knowing they are not our own.  God has a plan for each of them, despite our efforts to take control of those plans.  He inevitably takes them back as His own, one way or another, and yet we are never fully prepared for this day. For that matter, it's never easy to bid farewell to anyone we love.  Our hearts hurt when people we care about must leave us.  Whether its through death or just a physical distance, we are sad when that person is no longer with us.  Sometimes, these separations just stink.  
But when I really think about it, I know this is surely God's plan for us so that we might draw closer to Him. Not just on our own but through His own, dear, mother.  As we turn away with sunken hearts and swollen eyes, there she is to grab us and hold us close; she lifts us up to the Lord.  In her intimate knowledge of the resurrection, she understands what's best for us.  As painful as it is, we are stronger with each parting.  I am thankful for this but in my humanity I still groan...OH, if only I could gain an ounce of Mary's maternal strength...Sometimes just an ounce seems impossible when farewells are daunting.
I almost feel guilty for being sad as this is truly an exciting time in our son's life.  As one chapter of his life comes to a close, a newer and exciting chapter waits to unfold.

He has been showered with blessings and a promising college future {and beyond} so we share in these blessings as parents.
I'm doing my best to concentrate on the many gifts that have come through my son's life and being thankful.
The number in our daily household might change but the number of children in our hearts remains constant.  I struggle to keep this truth in my prayers as our family unit undergoes this separation.
Nope, I'm certainly not any closer to being like Mary and that's just the point.  Being like Mary is pointless, a lost cause in my case.  I could never be the Mother of God.  But the Mother of God can be a mother to me...And she is just that for all of us.  When I find myself gearing up for a farewell and putting up walls of defense, I picture Mary, a gentle mother.  I can relax my spirit knowing I am not alone when our son leaves home for a faraway college or another dear friend moves away.  Mary takes our hand and in her motherly wisdom, she models her strength gained from Jesus' departure. Providing us with an intimate glimpse into the resurrection, Mary also reminds us to rejoice in a future that is everlasting, a life that never ends.  For people of faith, separation from one another is only a temporary condition.  Change is inevitable but there is much joy to look forward to.  
Saying Farewell with Mary always means there's more to come...
Saying Farewell with Mary always speaks Hello to Hope.

21 comments:

  1. That is so beautiful, what wonderful heart felt words. I will be praying for you, your son, and your family. May God bless you all.

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    1. Thank you so much, Jennifer! Your prayers are such a blessing:)

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  2. What a milestone for all of you! Praise the Lord! I confess that I have tears in my eyes after reading your post. I am four years away from a similar moment but my heart already feels that pang when I think of it. :) Your heartfelt words are beautiful... I'm offering up an Ave to our loving Immaculata for you and your family!

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  3. Each Ave is a gift, especially those coming from dear Mamas like you! Thank you, Melody:) May God bless these next few years abundantly in your family!

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  4. What a wonderful celebration! I love all of the UD stuff. I know it is such an odd mixture of emotions to send our kids off in to the world- happy that they are ready, yet regretful that the time with them under our roof full time is coming to a close. God bless you and your family as you send your son off on this journey!

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    1. Hi Laurie-Yes, it was a wonderful celebration, indeed! Making all of the UD stuff was fun:) You've gone through this initial separation so you are wise in your words. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

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  5. A big transition for both your son and you! Mary will guide you and comfort you through it all as God blesses you!

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    1. Thank you so much, Noreen...I am confident she will:)

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  6. Thank you for sharing this post as the same things have been on my mind lately. My youngest just graduated from high school and I know there will not be many more years that there'll be any children home at all. I hate the thoughts of it and can't imagine not having a busy household and the joy of my girls around me. I have to put all my trust in Jesus and Mary and know that they will give me the strength I need, as they will you!

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    1. Oh, my heart goes out to you, dear Patterson family. Be assured of my prayers as you walk this new phase of your lives. Yes, TRUST is always the answer. God bless you and bring you peace in the coming days. Thank you for stopping by to leave a comment:)

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  7. Oh Tiffany! You write so beautifully, expressing your faith so completely. You are able to put into words what others feel in their hearts. Congratulations on your son's graduation from high school. What a huge accomplishment for you and your hubs as parents. And I recall from meeting him, what a fine young man you have been raising. He will soar at UD and touch the lives of so many others as he will be touched I'm sure. Besides, I'm looking forward to seeing you again and hopefully have time to meet your absolutely lovely family! Tell your son congratulations from all of us :)

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    1. Thanks, Patty! I will surely relay the Congrats to Hank from your family:) I am looking forward to seeing you and your family in the coming months!

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  8. i'll be praying for you and your son during this time. i attended UD for several years and your son is very blessed to be going there! i'm sure he will flourish.

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    1. Great to hear good things from a former UD student...Thanks for leaving a comment, Theresa! I am excited to witness him flourishing:) God Bless you!

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  9. Deo gratias!

    Thank you for sharing your joy. It was a beautiful announcement. Your family and dear Mer-man have been in our prayers. We pray that you all will be showered with His peace during this time of change. We also pray that Mer-man will have a faithfilled and fruitful journey at UD as he seeks God's will - ALL FOR the Sacred and Eucharistic Heart of Jesus, all through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, all in union with St. Joseph.

    Pax Christi, Lena

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    1. What a beautiful prayer you have offered...With a grateful heart, I thank you, Lena!

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  10. Tiffany, this is beautiful. How great must be your sadness and worry at the thought of the upcoming separation of your oldest from the family. And even though you know he is going on to wonderful new things, there still is great sadness in your heart. I love the things Our Lady of Guadalupe said to Saint Juan Diego: 'Do not be troubled or weighed down with grief. Do not fear any illness or vexation, anxiety or pain. Am I not here who am your Mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not the fountain of life? Are you not in the folds of my mantle?
    In the crossing of my arms? Is there anything else you need?' Isn't that so comforting. And, Our Lady goes with your son too!! She will be there to protect him as well. ((I don't it doesn't make the parting any easier))

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  11. ooops, meant to say I know it doesn't make the parting easier. You're in my prayers for strength and peace.

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    1. Oh, Gardenia, those words from OLG are some of my very favorite and they always pop up at the perfect time! Thanks for the reminder and I knew what you meant about the parting. Thank you for the blessed assurance of your prayers. They mean the world to me:)

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  12. Oh, Tiffany! I've had two leave the nest already. Very hard! Despite still having five kiddos with me when we are out and about, I always feel the absence of my two oldest. Thank God that they are living locally, but I still miss them terribly every single day! I'm going to jot your name down, so I will be sure to pray for you as you make this transition. Peace! +JMJ+

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  13. I am honored by the gift of your prayers, Annita...I am going to need them! (Especially with the distance) It will be difficult not having him part of our daily lives. As you said, even though you have more at home, the absence still gives us heart aches. Thank you, again, for the greatest gift of prayer!

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