I've been in a terrible funk since Holy Week...Soooo, needless to say, "resurrecting" is taking a little longer for me this year. {sigh}
It's been awhile since I've been this down.
Some of it was certainly triggered by Good Friday, death anniversary, and the tragic events in my past that swirl around my spirit like a hurricane this time of year. However, the continuation of the angst must be connected to other (unrelated) life changes and stresses.
I could certainly use *prayers*.
On an up note, the beauty of being a Catholic Christian through life's painful circumstances and emotions is that there is still Easter rejoicing. There will always be Easter rejoicing, no matter what.
The stone was rolled away and light became a truth-teller.
The stone was rolled away and light became a truth-teller.
I know this...
Pain, sorrow, wounds and all, only because
Christ showed us this, Himself.
It's a good thing, too.
Otherwise, I'm not sure how many of us could go on.
The Resurrection sustains me.
The Resurrection sustains me.
More than ever, I am thankful that the Resurrection is not a fleeting feeling or an emotion.
It's a more than a single event...
It's more than a season or a time period...
It's a sure thing, it's a constant, and it's forever.
Unlike the here and now that can be consuming at times, the resurrection is freedom.
We are reminded of this in the Acts of the Apostles (5:17-26) where the angel of the Lord leads Peter and the apostles out of the darkness and confines of the prison into the morning light and freedom of the temple area.
Though I am not good at being patient with my trials. At. all.
The resurrection serves to remind me that my struggles are not in vain. Without a struggle to roll back the stone, we are tempted to retract, weakened by a door that is too heavy to open. Longing for the light, gives us strength to bear the load.
Resurrecting might take longer than 3 days for most of us. In fact it just might take a lifetime. I'm ok with that, as long as I get there eventually...One Easter at a time.
Though every sun shall spend its fire
And galaxies shall dim to shade,
The Light by whom these lights were made
Shall never flicker, never fade.
In us arise, O Light of lights.
Burn brightly in the caverned heart.
Consume the shade that fear supplies,
And peace and truth instead impart.
Hymn from Magnificat
It's a more than a single event...
It's more than a season or a time period...
It's a sure thing, it's a constant, and it's forever.
We are reminded of this in the Acts of the Apostles (5:17-26) where the angel of the Lord leads Peter and the apostles out of the darkness and confines of the prison into the morning light and freedom of the temple area.
Though I am not good at being patient with my trials. At. all.
The resurrection serves to remind me that my struggles are not in vain. Without a struggle to roll back the stone, we are tempted to retract, weakened by a door that is too heavy to open. Longing for the light, gives us strength to bear the load.
Resurrecting might take longer than 3 days for most of us. In fact it just might take a lifetime. I'm ok with that, as long as I get there eventually...One Easter at a time.
And galaxies shall dim to shade,
The Light by whom these lights were made
Shall never flicker, never fade.
In us arise, O Light of lights.
Burn brightly in the caverned heart.
Consume the shade that fear supplies,
And peace and truth instead impart.
Hymn from Magnificat
Tiffany...I never read your *story* before...I don't know how I missed it but my heart broke when I did.
ReplyDeleteThis time of year is difficult for me to. Yes...I am sure some of it is hormonal, seasonal, unrelated...but I lost my last two children and they would have been born March and April. So the spring brings a season where I am in quite a dark cloud and I live Holy Week a bit longer than most Catholics!
Bless you for sharing your story and words and know that I will be thinking of you in a special way.
Bless you too, Theresa. My heart and hugs go out to you for the loss of your children. We never forget and our life long journey with loss is a continuous struggle. Thank you for your prayers and you have the promise of mine as well. Peace be with you.
DeleteAmen to all of this, Tiffany. It definitely resonates (from one who has been in a funk for a whole lot longer than a few weeks...). I really don't know how people get through it without God. I don't know how I did. Before. Day by day, that's how to take it. Thank you for the encouragement.
ReplyDeleteYes, Nicole, day by day is so right on. My heart is with you. It helps me to pray for others who struggle as well...You are on my list! Sometimes it takes a team of us in the body of Christ to roll our stones away. Together, we can hang tight and always hope for the light! ++Peace++
DeleteTiffany- I have been having a "down" Easter as well. I hoped and prayed for an emotionally "up" Easter and I didn't get what I wanted. My head and mouth smile and my heart mourns. The joy is deep down. I know it's there and I survive on it's light... but it is often hidden from my senses. I recognize the external factors just as you are doing here. We all have our own hormonal, emotional, mental, physical crosses... but I am dreaming of Springtime in my soul. At the end of the day though, I have to say "Lord, if it never comes for me in this life, I will only be that much more thrilled with my final, eternal Easter." My prayers are with you, sister. That your clouds may lift swiftly and that this will be a short season. That He may offer you the consolation you are seeking when the time is right... to strengthen you for the crosses that will always come. God bless you and yours!
ReplyDeleteMelody, you describe perfectly how I am feeling...Your words are poetry to my ears! "The joy deep down, hidden from my senses." Yep. My mouth smiles too but things aren't as they appear. Thank you for taking the time to share and for the gift of your prayers. I will certainly be praying for you as well. Springtime in your soul will surely come in little blossoms when you least expect. May they come in haste to you, dear faithful servant! Together, we can be glimmers of hope for one another...You are that for many through the gift of your writing. Peace, my friend!
DeleteTiffany, your hope for resurrection is touching. I guess it's a common struggle to keep that hope alive within our hearts and souls especially when days seem dark and the resurrection seems so distant. I hope that my prayers for you will bring a little light to your days allowing them to become even just a little bit lighter. God bless you my friend and thank you for this beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear Anne! Your prayers mean more than you will ever know. I am thankful for you and your sisterhood in Christ. +Peace of the Resurrection to you, just when you need it the most!+
DeleteDear Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteIf only I could write as eloquently as everyone else!
I'll share a story with you about a woman I once met weeks after losing her 2yr old son. She was apologizing to me for being so upset at a bible study. I looked her straight in the face and said.."J, I don't know how you get out of bed every day. I couldn't do it."
I'll never forget what she said... "I have to. If I don't get up and do a good job I'll never see my son again. The only way for me to ever hold him again is to get to heaven."
It struck my heart in a way I'll never forget. And I know if I can't have my loved ones with me there's no other place I'd rather them be...but it's still so hard sometimes. You're right---without the Resurrection, what would sustain us?
Know that you're being lifted in prayer and I'll offer my rosary for you tonight with the other 100+ gathered (at comepraytherosary). Take care sister and thank you for sharing.
Thank you, dear Kara...This story is truly a great witness for survival and perseverance! I'm beyond grateful for your Rosary prayers, my friend. Yes, beyond grateful. I'm praying for all of you kind ladies in return:) God bless you for your love and kindness!
DeleteI completely forgot what I was going to write after I read "Just One Handful" comment. Oh how beautiful! Always hugs and prayers for you! Always!
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, my friend! Always hugs and prayers right back at ya:)
DeleteOh sweet friend!!! How I have been thinking of you so much since Good Friday. I know how difficult this time of year is for you and so many different emotions swirling around inside of you...between the joy of His resurrection and the pain from your loss. I am sorry that you are in a funk. Although I hate funks, I have found out in reflection, that they are a way to pull back and reflect on the most important things in our lives. I find sometimes when I am conflicted internally the funk seems to erupt. I hope the springtime there is beautiful and eases the funk a bit. The weather here is pretty dreary still ;) I too am feeling a bit down, but, I think mine is due mostly to a let down from Lent being over (similar to giving birth, if that makes sense...9 months of anticipating and although you LOVE the newness and excitement of having that beautiful little blessing right there with you, you miss being pregnant and all that comes with that mystery). The world all out of order is making me very sad and worried too.
ReplyDeleteI miss you and it is so good to see you again. I hope you are feeling better soon and know that everyone is sending many prayers your way.
Oh, how I'd LOVE to sit and have coffee with you, Ann-Marie! Someday?? I'm right with you on all of this:) Thank you for the loving note and prayers, my friend...You have lifted my spirits:) God bless you with everlasting joy and peace! *Hugs*
DeleteOh how I would love to sit and chat with you, Tiffany! That would be wonderful :-)
DeleteAfter reading these beautiful comments, I haven't much to add of my own except that I will be in prayer for you. I know personally the pain of death anniversaries. Thank you for a beautiful post and such beautiful photos. You are certainly a woman of much faith and grace, and may God bless you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear Nancy! Prayers are such a great gift and I am truly grateful. In my gratitude, I'm offering my next Holy Hour for all of you and your personal intentions. I will offer up your painful death anniversaries as well...Your beautiful and wise writings must be the grace that rises from the depths of trial as a sign that God is good. Thank you again for reaching out and touching my life and many others! God bless you with *Peace.*
DeleteYou are in my prayers daily!! You inspire me to be a better wife, mom and friend :) Blessings,
ReplyDeleteJen, your prayers and support meant the world to me...Thank you so much! Your friendship is a treasure and a blessing:)
DeleteYou will continue to be in my prayers! So glad I'm getting a chance to get caught up today with some of my "blog friends". I have missed you! Blessings to you and your family during this Easter season.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your prayers, dear sister in Christ! You are a constant shoulder to lean on and for that i am grateful, even though we've never met. Thanks for stopping by and catching up. I need to make some rounds myself! I pray you are having a very blessed Easter yourself and I DO look forward to meeting you someday in the near future:)
DeleteOne Easter at a time is all He asks us for. We continually need to say "yes, I believe." Our faith is what sustains us through the trials and you have a strong beautiful faith in Our Lord Jesus and Our Blessed Mother. Praying that Our Mother Mary is wrapping you tightly and consoling you in your heartache. She knows what it feels like to experience sorrow and pain. Who better to console you? You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou are always such an inspiration, Noreen! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement and prayer...Truly a sweet consolation from a sister in Christ. Oh YES, where would I be without Our Lady? Thanks again and I pray that you are having a very blessed Easter:)
DeleteHi Tiffany, catching up with you, my friend. I've been away from my little space but have missed you and your uplifting posts. You have been in my prayers. As you said in a note to me recently, it's hard to think how I ever had the time for blogging when you get away from it for a bit. But I'll be back. I'm well, happy and busy. God bless you and your family.
ReplyDelete