The torment has been unbelievable,
the anger unbearable,
as I have attempted to navigate the road of hurt that has occurred in my marriage.
The lies that the prince of darkness whispers in our ears had penetrated my husband's heart and now I was buying in too.
As my screams echoed in the kitchen, it was a miracle that I could still hear a small, soft, voice cry out inside of me...What are you doing? Who is it that you are battling here?
It was a good question that begged emergency attention and prayer.
Who was it that I was really battling?
How could I have missed the real enemy?
Maybe because he doesn't actually have horns or wear a little red suit...
Maybe because Satan disguises himself as a helpful voice to fill ourselves with more of ourselves...
Yes. It was he, the epitome of prIde, vice, and death that continued to relentlessly seek our marriage, just like he does with many others.
Now, more than ever, it wasn't time to throw in the towel...It was time to call for backup.
It was time to turn my husband over to another woman.
She crushes the serpent through Christ's birth and by opposing the devil with her humility, virtue, and life. What better woman to call on than the Mother of God, Mary, most holy.
It became clear that I needed to battle the true enemy with my prayers and not with my pride. This mess is way too much for me to even consider trying to figure out or control. I desperately needed help.
She's our mother.
At the foot of the Cross, Christ entrusted Mary to all of us. (John 19:27)
Her soul magnifies the Lord. (Luke 1:46)
I place my husband into Mary's arms with perfect confidence.
I pray...
Every day, I must pray for my husband:
That he sees Mary's beauty as the perfect model for womanhood and not desire to view false images that come up empty.
That he feels the warm embrace of a woman who carried God in her arms and never feel lonely again.
That he may know the mercy of the woman who suffered her Son's murder and followed him to the cross, hence know freedom from shame.
That he accept this woman as his queen and sureness to heaven and be home.
That he breathe in her Immaculate heart full of love that gives freely and return real love to others.
That he never look away from her gorgeous gaze that reflects purity and grace and see what a real woman should be.
And most importantly...I pray that he chase after her to know her Son, Jesus, more perfectly. Jesus, who came to give us life and hope that is beyond the Cross.
She knows that He knows.
She leads us to Him, the way, the truth, the life.
I'm turning my husband over to another woman because in doing this I am also turning over myself.
I'm done fighting the wrong enemy and strengthening my resolve to battle the real one.
We have help in this battle and we are never alone.
Regardless of what happens in my marriage or in this life, I want to be on the right team...lest I forget who wins!
I will pray a rosary for all your intentions.
ReplyDeleteOur Lady, intercede for Tiffany and her husband and family.
Thank you so much, Valerie! May you be blessed, in turn, for your generosity:)
DeleteI must say the title threw me as I missed your last blog post. Oh, for the sorrows of this world, the crosses we all bear. Thank God your husband is breaking this addiction and has you as one of his supports. Love to you and yours Tiffany and prayers as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nicole! Appreciate the love and prayers so much.+
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ReplyDeleteI know you don't want it, but you have my admiration, Tiffany. As always, your words are beautiful. So is your heart. I continue to pray! In Jesus and Mary, Annita <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Annita.+++ Your prayers, love, and friendship, continue to be a great gift.+++ Blessings of peace to you!
DeleteI truly hate that you are all going through this trial, but, please know that I am continuing to keep *all*of you in prayer for peace and perseverance sweet friend. Keep that faith up and those prayers flowing :-) God will take care of you and there will be goodness to come out of all of this at the end. {{{much love and hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Ann-Marie. I really hate all of this, too:( My faith and the 100% knowledge that God's goodness *always* comes out of trial is my biggest consolation. Your love, prayers, and friendship mean the world to me...Hugs right back!
DeleteI have stumbled upon your blog before and stumbled upon it again today. I'm so sorry to hear of all the hurt and pain your whole family is experiencing now. God wanted me to come here today so that I may offer one more prayer for you all.
ReplyDeleteThank you so, so, much, ElizabethClare! I have to tell you that the email with your comment and gift of prayer caught me at a time when I needed it the most last week. I broke down and cried grateful tears. I don't even know you but I wanted to hug you. Thank you, again and God bless you!
DeleteHow my heart breaks for you and your family going through this very painful time! Yet I'm so encouraged by the sheer moral courage and conviction you have been graced with through our Lady, the Mediatrix of all grace. Your example of commitment to your husband and prayer for he who hurt you so deeply is a beautiful example of the white martyrdom you are experiencing in your life. Yet your are living and choosing to love your husband in spite of the pain and the hurt. You are emptying all you have within you, all you have to give, and presenting it at Our Blessed Mother's feet. I promise you will not regret it. And I pray, that through your purgation, your pain, your heartbreak and your courage to bare all, your model and story will help so many other marriages! You are added to my family's daily rosary and my daily Mass intentions. May the Lord richly and infinitely bless you and your family and may your husband be forever freed from the demon of lust that so readily awaits each and every one of us for our weakest moments to consume us. O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, Maria. God bless you for your beautiful words of encouragement and love. I am suffering terribly so your prayers will surely be put to work!
DeleteHaven't heard from you in a while, my friend. I pray for you often. As I write this, it is Thanksgiving morning, and I am in Phoenix visiting my nieces.
ReplyDeleteIf you chance to glance at this comment, I suggest you take the time to also glance at a posting on blog.adw.org, from the Archdiocese of Washington. The posting there on gratitude was one most fitting for this day, and especially fitting if we struggle to be grateful.
I wish you, and your family, all graces this day.
Thank you, Tom. It has been quite a trek through the desert. Your email was timely. I was blessed by your outreach so I thank you so much! I hope to post an update, soon...Lenten appropriate! I hope you have been well! God bless you abundantly.
DeleteSt. Mary Magdalene, pray for this man's fear of the Lord which is the beginning of wisdom according to the OT proverb. Lord, give him a deep scare if that would be best.
ReplyDeleteThank you, God bless you!
DeleteYour blog was the first one I discovered years ago through a FB post. At that time, I wasn't even real sure what a blog was. Anyway, it lead me to other blogs and eventually to writing my own. When sitting down to get caught up on my blog reading, I always go to yours first. I was devastated to read all of this that you are going through. Even though you don't know me, I feel as if I know you very well. Rest assured that you are all in my daily prayers.
ReplyDeleteI remember you as one of the first followers, Candy! Thank you so much for your comments and prayers. I have needed them desperately. (As well as my husband and family) God bless you, especially this Lenten season.
DeleteI found your blog via a pinterest link to Lenten ideas. In scanning your blog, I came upon this post and read the preceding post as well. I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you in a special way. The cross is heavy, but we can do all things in Christ. Your courage and determination and your confidence in God and His Mother are absolutely inspiring. I will pray a rosary for your family tonight, and I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for taking the time to comment and pray for us! Your prayers are a gift, indeed. God bless you!
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