The torment has been unbelievable,
the anger unbearable,
as I have attempted to navigate the road of hurt that has occurred in my marriage.
The lies that the prince of darkness whispers in our ears had penetrated my husband's heart and now I was buying in too.
As my screams echoed in the kitchen, it was a miracle that I could still hear a small, soft, voice cry out inside of me...What are you doing? Who is it that you are battling here?
It was a good question that begged emergency attention and prayer.
Who was it that I was really battling?
How could I have missed the real enemy?
Maybe because he doesn't actually have horns or wear a little red suit...
Maybe because Satan disguises himself as a helpful voice to fill ourselves with more of ourselves...
Yes. It was he, the epitome of prIde, vice, and death that continued to relentlessly seek our marriage, just like he does with many others.
Now, more than ever, it wasn't time to throw in the towel...It was time to call for backup.
It was time to turn my husband over to another woman.
She crushes the serpent through Christ's birth and by opposing the devil with her humility, virtue, and life. What better woman to call on than the Mother of God, Mary, most holy.
It became clear that I needed to battle the true enemy with my prayers and not with my pride. This mess is way too much for me to even consider trying to figure out or control. I desperately needed help.
She's our mother.
At the foot of the Cross, Christ entrusted Mary to all of us. (John 19:27)
Her soul magnifies the Lord. (Luke 1:46)
I place my husband into Mary's arms with perfect confidence.
I pray...
Every day, I must pray for my husband:
That he sees Mary's beauty as the perfect model for womanhood and not desire to view false images that come up empty.
That he feels the warm embrace of a woman who carried God in her arms and never feel lonely again.
That he may know the mercy of the woman who suffered her Son's murder and followed him to the cross, hence know freedom from shame.
That he accept this woman as his queen and sureness to heaven and be home.
That he breathe in her Immaculate heart full of love that gives freely and return real love to others.
That he never look away from her gorgeous gaze that reflects purity and grace and see what a real woman should be.
And most importantly...I pray that he chase after her to know her Son, Jesus, more perfectly. Jesus, who came to give us life and hope that is beyond the Cross.
She knows that He knows.
She leads us to Him, the way, the truth, the life.
I'm turning my husband over to another woman because in doing this I am also turning over myself.
I'm done fighting the wrong enemy and strengthening my resolve to battle the real one.
We have help in this battle and we are never alone.
Regardless of what happens in my marriage or in this life, I want to be on the right team...lest I forget who wins!
