Hold My Hand

Don't we all just want a hand to hold sometimes? 

I've been thinking a lot about this during a recent challenge around our house...Dear husband has been gone on a month-long business trip to teach tactical medicine in another country.  We discussed the opportunity quite a bit before making a mutual decision that he should go.  That being said, the challenges of him being gone were yet to be seen...

The first thing I did was call upon many prayer warriors to pray for his safety and our sanity at home.  I've been told that I'm a strong person but I really don't feel like I am.  One thing I know for certain is that I do have a strong God who sustains me.  I knew that our family was going to need those prayers, especially for me to do my part alone with 4 kids at home.

The days and weeks passed by...some slow, some fast, some crazy, some sane.  Needless to say there were many lessons learned and strength was gained a long the way, no doubt from the prayers that were prayed from generous and loving hearts.  I am so grateful for all of them and he's finally coming home this weekend!

What surprised me the most was the differing reactions that I received.  People I hardly know were checking in on us yet some of my closest friends and relatives never even asked how we were doing.  I sat and listened to one particular "friend" ramble on about herself while never even casting a word or question about our survival.  Seemingly insensitive and uncaring actions are puzzling thoughts about a "friend." 

All of this reminded me of my widowhood when some people I thought were close friends seemed farthest away.  On the other hand, the people who seem to care the most during this difficult situation were the least expected.  It's like God plants them there to open our eyes to beautiful people all around us that we failed to pay attention to before.  He makes up for our human failings and His hands reach out to us through these special people that reach out to us, taking our eyes off the disappointment.

When all is said and done, the fact is that we need each other.  We need hands to hold when we are struggling.  Big struggles, small struggles, it doesn't really matter.  What counts is a caring gesture.  I remember one particular homily when our pastor emphasized the need for Christ but also the human need for people with "skin" here on earth.  God made us in His image and likeness to be His representatives on earth...The arms and legs of Jesus for one another.  I was reminded of this need in my own need.  We aren't meant to walk alone.

 

Receiving a kind text message asking how we were doing, how my husband was doing, was such a life-line this past month.  Some sweet church friends brought pizza and dropped it off, without even asking; a friend that I only see once a year sent chocolate; another thoughtful friend dropped off stress relief soap and lotion...I never expected any of this but I can't tell you how each of these hands that reached out brought light to a dark moment or ease to a struggle.  I am beyond humbled. Words cannot express enough gratitude.

The reason I share this is to bring light to the kindness, to the importance of hands to reach out.  It reminds me how critical it is to be that same light for others.  We can all make a difference, even in the small things...Sometimes we will never know when the small things are really big things so we just need to act!  We should not hesitate or wait to be asked...Just reach out. Since we are all human, it's inevitable that people will disappoint us but right behind them are new smiles to discover and new friends to behold.

I saw this picture of Pope Francis on Facebook via Catholic Catalogue and it brings home this loving sentiment.  The way he reached out to that Swiss Guard was so endearing...Look at that smile!  Isn't that how we all feel when someone touches our hearts?
I pray that I will not be that "friend" who is too self-absorbed or too busy to reach out...After all, the Pope's not too busy to grab a hand!

Moving forward from here, I want to reach out a little more. 
I hope you will join me...

Share love,

Share compassion,

Hold hearts,

Hold hands!

Kindred Spirits

Crystal & Tiffany

Kindred Spirits~Birthday Buddies

This kindred friendship is one of the biggest blessings of my widowhood and life in general.  It was certainly heaven-sent to say the least!

We were born just 4 days apart in the same year, in the same County...God had a plan for us.  Two baby girls would grow to share a story that only the future would tell....We still dream of writing a book:)

Skip forward quite a few years... We both married men who would serve in the military, just 60 miles apart before their death.  

Tragically, we both lost these men, just 6 weeks apart in 1994.  We were 27 and our husbands were both 30 who had also lost one brother before them.   I had a 6 month old child to raise but Crystal had not yet been blessed with any children.

The good Lord saw to it that we should finally meet...The only 2 "young" widows at a Hospice Loss of Spouse Group.  It was an instant spiritual connection as we shared the many things we had in common, including how our lives had paralleled up to this point of intersection. We mourned the loss of  life and love as we knew it, clinging to the hope of the future.  

This kindred spirit was a light in my darkness as I struggled with my faith and the deep suffering in my life...She had already lost her Mother as well. Like the sturdy vines of this tree, we grew together, leaning on the Lord alone.  (Though I had much more work to do than she!)
As we each discovered our suffering as a great gift, we found the truth in that it is only "through the cross that we are united to Him who was nailed on it." (Bl. Charles de Foucauld)

Journeying forward, we both found new love, re-married, and experienced the joys of motherhood.  The love in our lives prevailed.
Dearest Crystal, however, continued to suffer many more trials.  Just as fast as God relieved her of one suffering, He sent her another.  She is one of His most beloved friends.  This amazing soul has persevered and keeps on shining her light, loving others as He has loved her.  She pays it forward each and every day...I am honored to be her friend.

 Love continues to be the common theme in our lives...We are both richly blessed and living proof that God's grace never fails.  We know that we are just passing through this life and nothing compares to the life that awaits us.  We do our best to embrace our sufferings, knowing for certain, that all sorrows lead to joy.

"Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.  Resolve to keep happy, and your joy shall form an invincible hope against difficulty."~Helen Keller~

I am forever grateful for this kindred spirit...A living testimony to God's unconditional love.  We celebrate 45 years on earth and 16 years of friendship, both treasures we never take for granted!

"We are not discouraged; rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal."~2 Corinthians 4:16-18~

God Is Beautiful...

(Author Unknown)

I asked God to take away my pain.

God said, No.

It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.

God said, No.

Her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.

God said, No.

Patience is a by-product of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness.

God said, No.

I give you blessings.  Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.

God said, No.

Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.

God said, No.

You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.

God said, No.

I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.

God said...Ahhh, finally you have the idea!

Back-ups And Blessings

We got backed-up last week...

Mostly due to one little soccer camp....But then again, there's just some weeks that it's just plain hard to keep up. Dear husband was away at work most of the week so it seems like the many household duties and tasks also add up and back-up while he is away for long stretches:(  On top of that, it was a busy weekend so the mountain has grown even bigger since then....Laundry Madonna, please pray for me!  Ok, so there's no such thing as a Laundry Madonna so it's just plain time to get to work.  The good Lord knows that the laundry is my nemesis so I shall call on His most Holy Name with each piece of laundry that I touch.  Jesus will give me the strength to bear the load with joy, oh yes he will.  Stay tuned for how many times I say His name today...Any guesses?

Before I get to work, it helps me to acknowledge blessings amidst the back-ups.  Last week we received 3 special deliveries that brightened our week.  It is always my hope and prayer to be vigilant about blogging, lest it grow to be a distraction from my family or vocational duties.  It's always a balance to keep things in check. This being said, the online faith, hope and charity has been invaluable...These blessings are a tribute to the friendships that are forged through God's grace.

One friend was so kind to share a few of her own treasures with our family. I have never met Gardenia but our bloggy friendship has blossomed into a great gift.  Her generosity has touched my heart in more ways than one.  I am blessed to share a love for the Lord and Our Blessed Mother with Gardenia, reflected in the treasures of our homes.  We were beyond blessed by her special delivery!

A soldier with Jesus..."That men may live."

Shared stickers and holy cards for our whole family...

Beautiful holy vases from her collection...I have admired these from across the miles!

And this gorgeous poster that Angel baby wants to hang in the girls' room!  

She asked me not to thank her but that's a difficult thing when a heart overflows with gratitude...Instead, I shall pray that God's blessings be returned to her and her family in abundance:) 

Another friend sent Princess a lovely First Communion gift.  Lena makes these herself and has a small Etsy shop.  Be sure to check out her tiled necklaces.  Isn't this one just perfectly pretty?  I just love Lena's grace-filled treasures!  Princess has a very grateful heart for her thoughtfulness and generosity:)  This is Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha, who was Princess' First Communion Patron Saint...

 A final blessing was this pile of gently used clothes that another dear friend dropped off for our family.  In these tough economic times, we were thrilled to receive such abundance.  We will donate any unused items to our church yard sale coming up!

This is not to say that the material items were the main focus of our blessings last week.  We know full well that it's the precious-people-souls behind their actions that really matter, through the hand of God.  

That being said, it's off to work with Jesus to reduce the pile of mounting laundry.  Our days may be filled with back-ups... but the blessings always outweigh the burdens!

Amazing Grace

Grace Marie

September 8, 2009

~Her precious feet at 20 weeks~

This post is dedicated to our friends Dan and Kim...

And their 3 sweet sons

~On the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows~

Honoring the life of their daughter, Grace Marie.

And to all parents who grieve the loss of a child,

We pray that Our Mother Mary hold you close under the peaceful protection of her mantle until you are reunited with your precious little ones.

This is my dear friend Kim, pregnant with Amazing Grace.  
*I love you sweet sister Kim!*

I asked Kim if I could share a glimpse of  her story as a tribute to baby Grace and the miracle of life itself.  As a witness of Kim's journey, I can testify that Baby Grace is proof that no life is created in vain. 

Let me tell you, this little Godly gift named Grace wrung hearts out to dry after many tears soaked the spirits of her family and friends. Yet at the same time her soul created a tidal wave of love.  I watched love bring light to Dan and Kim in their darkness.  Love did not fail.  I don't know why I am amazed that love pours forth in the midst of sorrow.  We know this is true, so why are we surprised?  Maybe it's not really surprise but relief.  I was relieved and thankful that God's gift of grace was certainly evident in the brief life of this child, hence her fitting name of Grace.  She was God's gift of love, magnified through the lens of grief.

Baby Grace lived a brief life in her Mother's womb...20 weeks.

She was the daughter that her Mommy and Daddy prayed for.

She was the sister that her 3 brothers waited for.

And then there was silence, no heart beating.

Mother Mary mopped up buckets of tears on her own birthday, September 8th, 2009.

Grace Marie was given a middle name in honor of our Heavenly Mother, there to greet her with open arms.

The Fifth Sorrow of Mary comes to mind~The Death of Our Lord

"O Lord, give us the strength, like Mary who stood at the foot of the cross, to trust in your own divine plan for us."

The physical body of Grace Marie still clung to her Mommy's womb...

And Mama Kim held on to her baby Grace for as long as possible, not wanting to let her go.

One week later Kim was induced~

It was the Exaltation of the Holy Cross.

Kim and Dan clung to each other as husband and wife and united their sufferings with Jesus on the cross as Kim gave birth to a perfectly formed baby at 20 weeks, cause of death unknown.

Kim actually delivered baby Grace on the 

Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows~ 2009.

Dan and Kim held their lifeless daughter on this feast, knowing that Mary also suffered the loss of her child,Jesus, and held Him in her arms after death.  This did not diminish Dan and Kim's tears but it illuminated their darkness.

The vision that comes to me is that of two mothers and their witness to earthly life and the hope of eternal life to come.

The Sixth Sorrow of Mary also comes to mind~The Embrace 

Mary held the lifeless body of her son.

"Lord, mold and fashion our hearts so that we may be a people who cherish life at all times, and who strive to protect the great dignity of human life each and every day."

The hospital room was the first of many farewells...

Dan and Kim said goodbye to their precious daughter and went home without her for the first time since she was conceived.

Dan and Kim prepared a celebration of life.

~This was the angel urn that carried the remains of Grace Marie~

A Mass was said in the name of life and love...

At the foot of the cross.

With broken hearts and unwavering love, grace rained down~ another farewell.
Mom, Dad, and brothers were not ready to part with their precious angel in the urn quite yet...

One year later, a final farewell is prepared...
September 8, 2010
Our Lady's Birthday,
Once again.

A Sorrowful Mother prepares a perfect place for her daughter...
She clings to another Sorrowful Mother.

The Seventh Sorrow of Mary comes to mind~The Burial of Jesus
Silently, perhaps somewhat stunned and disbelieving, Mary and the others walk away into the darkness of this black afternoon.
"Lord, like Mary, we too must often walk away from that which we cannot comprehend, yet continue to carry within our hearts a spirit of trust and confident faith.  Perhaps never is our faith so tested as when we are confronted by total loss and seeming defeat.  However, it is in just such moments that we know we must surrender and continue to walk in faith.  Help us, Lord, to embrace even those moments of solitude and abandonment so that we might be prepared even more for the mystery of new life and continued participation in your divine plan for us all."

Brothers Bid Farewell

~Roses tied with blue ribbon in honor of Our Lady's Birthday~

~Showers of Roses for Grace Marie~

~Youngest brother makes sure all is good~

A Final Farewell...Until they meet again.

~And that is the story of Amazing Grace and her courageous family, a witness to the world~

"For it is through the living witness of others that we are drawn to God at all.  It is because of His creatures, and His work in them, that we come to praise Him."

~St. Teresa of Avila~

I found this prayer quite appropriate today, remembering Kim and all sorrowful mothers who have had children preceding them in death.

My heart goes out to you with all my love.

My afflicted Mother, I will not leave thee alone to weep; no, I will accompany thee with my tears. This grace I now ask of thee: obtain that I may always bear in mind and always have a tender devotion towards the Passion of Jesus and thy sorrows, that the remainder of my days may thus be spent in weeping over thy sufferings, my own sweet Mother, and those of my Redeemer. These sorrows, I trust, will give me the confidence and strength which I shall require at the hour of death, that I may not despair at the sight of the many sins by which I have offended my Lord. They must obtain me pardon, perseverance, and heaven, where I hope to rejoice with thee, and to sing the infinite mercies of my God for all eternity. Thus do I hope; thus may it be. Amen.