He Teaches Me

The darkened church embraced me as I sat in silence gazing up at the throne of God. Like a mother's womb, protecting a vulnerable child, I longed to curl up and stay there forever.   Before the dimly lit candles, I gazed up at the Lord of Hosts and wondered how I could keep facing my world of pain, broken promises, betrayal, and rejection.  Much like a little baby who enters the world wailing, I felt the bemoaning in my soul. 

In sorrow, I am weakened to my knees.
The weight of deceit is crushing.
I am not a good sufferer.
I am paralyzed, not knowing how to proceed from here.

Suddenly, a whisper comes from behind...
He shuffles down the aisle, swishing the tile like sandpaper.
His aged body dangles from the weight of his shoulders and nothing moves but his feet.
I glance up to see who has kept me company in silence.
Recognizing this man from daily Mass and Veteran's Day events, I know that he's a soldier. 
His focus is the altar, Christ present, and Christ on the Cross. 
Those eyes...He teaches me.

As he passes by, I wonder what his story is.
Was he a husband and father?
What about his military service?
Who has he fought for?
Was he courageous?
I know he's alone.
How does he do it at his age?

He maintains a natural smile that upholds his unwavering eyes.
Still focused...He teaches me.

Finally making it to the altar,
he begins a slow descent, lowering his broken body to kneel.  He could have just stood up.  It would have been easier. 
He doesn't take the easy way out. 
There's no one around but me and God. 
Eyes still focused, holding that smile...He teaches me.

I watch as this man suffers.
His body winces in pain but he perseveres with kneeling. 
His heart is steadfast in reaching his goal, offering himself completely, there at the foot of the Cross.
Not an ounce of his suffering body is seen in his eyes, still fixed on the Lord of heavenly hosts...He teaches me.


Suddenly, I'm no longer paralyzed,
I'm inspired for the journey ahead.
Together with my soldier-friend, I gaze up at the same Lord and the same Cross that resurrects us all from our suffering.  
This time, there are two of us smiling through pain.
Faith marches on, there in the silent womb of the church.
From the light of an altar in front of us both,
Hearts open wide, eyes of the soul in focus...
He taught us well.

+Written by Tiffany at the Foot of the Cross +

I'm Turning My Husband Over To Another Woman

The torment has been unbelievable,

the anger unbearable,

as I have attempted to navigate the road of hurt that has occurred in my marriage.

The lies that the prince of darkness whispers in our ears had penetrated my husband's heart and now I was buying in too.

As my screams echoed in the kitchen, it was a miracle that I could still hear a small, soft, voice cry out inside of me...What are you doing? Who is it that you are battling here?

It was a good question that begged emergency attention and prayer.

Who was it that I was really battling?

How could I have missed the real enemy? 

Maybe because he doesn't actually have horns or wear a little red suit...

Maybe because Satan disguises himself as a helpful voice to fill ourselves with more of ourselves...

Yes. It was he, the epitome of prIde, vice, and death that continued to relentlessly seek our marriage, just like he does with many others. 

Now, more than ever, it wasn't time to throw in the towel...It was time to call for backup.

It was time to turn my husband over to another woman.

Who better to oppose the real enemy in our marriage but the woman who is at enmity with the devil (Gen. 3:15) by bearing the Savior, Jesus Christ, God Himself, in her womb? 

She crushes the serpent through Christ's birth and by opposing the devil with her humility, virtue, and life.   What better woman to call on than the Mother of God, Mary, most holy.
It became clear that I needed to battle the true enemy with my prayers and not with my pride.  This mess is way too much for me to even consider trying to figure out or control.  I desperately needed help.

 

This woman...She's got this.
She's our mother. 
At the foot of the Cross, Christ entrusted Mary to all of us. (John 19:27)
Her soul magnifies the Lord. (Luke 1:46)

I place my husband into Mary's arms with perfect confidence.

I pray...
Every day, I must pray for my husband:

That he sees Mary's beauty as the perfect model for womanhood and not desire to view false images that come up empty.
That he feels the warm embrace of a woman who carried God in her arms and never feel lonely again.
That he may know the mercy of the woman who suffered her Son's murder and followed him to the cross, hence know freedom from shame.
That he accept this woman as his queen and sureness to heaven and be home.
That he breathe in her Immaculate heart full of love that gives freely and return real love to others.
That he never look away from her gorgeous gaze that reflects purity and grace and see what a real woman should be.
And most importantly...I pray that he chase after her to know her Son, Jesus, more perfectly.  Jesus, who came to give us life and hope that is beyond the Cross.
She knows that He knows.
She leads us to Him, the way, the truth, the life.

I'm turning my husband over to another woman because in doing this I am also turning over myself.
I'm done fighting the wrong enemy and strengthening my resolve to battle the real one.
We have help in this battle and we are never alone.
Regardless of what happens in my marriage or in this life, I want to be on the right team...lest I forget who wins!

+++If you can spare a prayer, please continue to keep Rod and I (and our family) in your prayers+++

Hold My Hand

Don't we all just want a hand to hold sometimes? 

I've been thinking a lot about this during a recent challenge around our house...Dear husband has been gone on a month-long business trip to teach tactical medicine in another country.  We discussed the opportunity quite a bit before making a mutual decision that he should go.  That being said, the challenges of him being gone were yet to be seen...

The first thing I did was call upon many prayer warriors to pray for his safety and our sanity at home.  I've been told that I'm a strong person but I really don't feel like I am.  One thing I know for certain is that I do have a strong God who sustains me.  I knew that our family was going to need those prayers, especially for me to do my part alone with 4 kids at home.

The days and weeks passed by...some slow, some fast, some crazy, some sane.  Needless to say there were many lessons learned and strength was gained a long the way, no doubt from the prayers that were prayed from generous and loving hearts.  I am so grateful for all of them and he's finally coming home this weekend!

What surprised me the most was the differing reactions that I received.  People I hardly know were checking in on us yet some of my closest friends and relatives never even asked how we were doing.  I sat and listened to one particular "friend" ramble on about herself while never even casting a word or question about our survival.  Seemingly insensitive and uncaring actions are puzzling thoughts about a "friend." 

All of this reminded me of my widowhood when some people I thought were close friends seemed farthest away.  On the other hand, the people who seem to care the most during this difficult situation were the least expected.  It's like God plants them there to open our eyes to beautiful people all around us that we failed to pay attention to before.  He makes up for our human failings and His hands reach out to us through these special people that reach out to us, taking our eyes off the disappointment.

When all is said and done, the fact is that we need each other.  We need hands to hold when we are struggling.  Big struggles, small struggles, it doesn't really matter.  What counts is a caring gesture.  I remember one particular homily when our pastor emphasized the need for Christ but also the human need for people with "skin" here on earth.  God made us in His image and likeness to be His representatives on earth...The arms and legs of Jesus for one another.  I was reminded of this need in my own need.  We aren't meant to walk alone.

 

Receiving a kind text message asking how we were doing, how my husband was doing, was such a life-line this past month.  Some sweet church friends brought pizza and dropped it off, without even asking; a friend that I only see once a year sent chocolate; another thoughtful friend dropped off stress relief soap and lotion...I never expected any of this but I can't tell you how each of these hands that reached out brought light to a dark moment or ease to a struggle.  I am beyond humbled. Words cannot express enough gratitude.

The reason I share this is to bring light to the kindness, to the importance of hands to reach out.  It reminds me how critical it is to be that same light for others.  We can all make a difference, even in the small things...Sometimes we will never know when the small things are really big things so we just need to act!  We should not hesitate or wait to be asked...Just reach out. Since we are all human, it's inevitable that people will disappoint us but right behind them are new smiles to discover and new friends to behold.

I saw this picture of Pope Francis on Facebook via Catholic Catalogue and it brings home this loving sentiment.  The way he reached out to that Swiss Guard was so endearing...Look at that smile!  Isn't that how we all feel when someone touches our hearts?
I pray that I will not be that "friend" who is too self-absorbed or too busy to reach out...After all, the Pope's not too busy to grab a hand!

Moving forward from here, I want to reach out a little more. 
I hope you will join me...

Share love,

Share compassion,

Hold hearts,

Hold hands!

Fireman Meets Hello Kitty

"Mommy, do you think Daddy can make me a Hello Kitty cake?"

This was the question our littlest one posed to me as she moved closer to her 5th birthday.

"Well if anyone can, Daddy can!" That was my reply...And it's true:)

Everyone in my family knows that Mommy can bake a cake but when it comes to precision cake design, that's Daddy's department. We all say it's his "secret talent!" He has the patience that I'll never have.

...He smiled when she asked him and of course he agreed. That's the kind of guy he is...He's a bag full of YES. 

So here you go...Fireman meets Hello Kitty!

I thought it was a clever idea to cut out a paper pattern first!

Can you tell it was Super Bowl Sunday?  

Little Miss wanted to decorate the pink bow!

Didn't she turn out cute?

We had one happy little girl on our hands!

Meanwhile, Dad had to work at the Fire Department on Monday, her actual birthday.  As the rest of his crew reported back to duty after manly weekend boastings, Rod sounded off about making Hello Kitty while he watched the Super Bowl.  What a trooper DAD!  

He's one Fireman who saved the day in his own home...A hero in this little heart, that's for sure!

Honor Thy Father And Mother

I just love this photo of my favorite Fire Fighter...Doesn't it speak volumes? 

There he is, honoring his Father...One last (earthly) time.  Dear husband is such a wonderful example of someone who has always practiced the Fifth Commandment better than anyone I know.  I have always admired this quality in him.  My deepest respect continues as he lives a final promise, to his dying Dad, that he would take good care of Mom.

He is adopted and living proof that love is not just biological. God bless this amazing man who continues to grace our family by his loving example.

St. Valentine And Beyond!

St. Valentine's Day was special since Dad was off this year...

This is SO exciting for a Fire Family!  We are always grateful when we have our Dad home on special days.  We never take them for granted since he works many, many holidays.

We had this fun breakfast planned as we had recently discovered the idea from one of our children's cook books.

Pop over to Catholic Cuisine for the easy instructions!  We called it Heart of St. Valentine Egg Toast:)

Did you see Holly's St. Valentine printables this year?  She shares so many neat things at her blog, Three-Sided Wheel.

Princess made a couple of Valentines for her friends with these printables and some construction paper.  What a great way to bring the "real" St. Valentine back into our celebrations...Thank you, Holly:)  She added a lollipop and holy card to the inside.

  I know many friends who make Valentines and take them to a local Care Home...We didn't get to this but what a beautiful idea!

We also re-purposed Holly's Valentines for another Secular-to-Sacred project. I found these cute boxes at the Dollar Tree.  They came with a clear picture window that fit the face of St. Valentine perfectly.  I only had time to make these 3 but I really liked the way they turned out...Maybe more next year?!


Beyond St. Valentine's Day...
Getting back to our routine is always difficult after a day full of fun and a little too much sugar...BUT furry friends sure help out!

My Joseph

This is my Joseph...

brought to me by Jesus Himself.
Today as I sat before the Lord in Adoration, I felt a stirring in my soul from my Advent reading.  The reflection to ponder talked about simple prayers, even like the opening prayer of Mass today: "Father, we need your help!"   I thought about how often I have prayed a similar prayer in my own life, sometimes daily but especially in time of trouble.  The reflection went on to talk about even Mary needing God's help. I would never have thought about Mary needing help, would you?  Though her unborn child was God within her, she needed the help of St. Joseph.  God provided Mary this great gift.  The point in the reading was that God always provides, even on the toughest of journeys.  The gift of St. Joseph ensured that Mary was not alone;  She was given St. Joseph, just and loyal who stayed close to her, protecting her on their journey.  Surely Mary sang praise to God for St. Joseph!  The stirring in my soul connected to that, a long with the many times that God provided for me in my life, including the gift of my own Joseph in time of need.  Though I'm certainly NO Mary, I do long to be like her in some small way, even if it's just singing praise for my Joseph.  I am witness to God transforming tragedy and sorrow into the richest blessings, including the gift of my Joseph.  I couldn't help but think of my Joseph today, so faithful, strong, and loving.  Like St. Joseph, he stood with me though my first born son was not his biological child.  How kind and gentle he was to make this child his own.  I did not need a new husband to take away the pain from the heat of the refiner's fire, but I did need a Joseph to fulfill God's plan of conversion and hope.  Dear Joseph still stands with me today through all of our brokenness and imperfections, guiding us to the promise of eternal life.  Words of wisdom from my Joseph: "The road to Bethlehem wasn't easy so neither should our own journey be easy."  His words were the perfect tie in to my reflection!  I'm singing praise to God for my Joseph and his words of wisdom.  He may not be a saint but he's pure love to me, surely a gift from God!  Whether our road be bumpy or full of potholes, I pray that we always keep a song of hope in our hearts.  I know God waits for us still today and desires to shower us with blessings through all of our apparent misfortunes and trials. Especially during this first week of Advent, I am looking forward with hope and great expectation to what lies ahead.  May we always remember that the road to Bethlehem wasn't easy but God still arrived.

Thanksgiving Blessings To All

We are having a very untraditional Thanksgiving since....

Our firefighter Dad is on duty today!
 It's a particularly bummer year for the children since Dad works Christmas too!

God Bless them one and all...Firefighters, Police, Soldiers, and all who keep us safe.

We won't be with him in person but he is always in our hearts. These times help us realize the importance of not taking things for granted, like having our loved ones with us all the time.  We are praying for all those who are separated from their families on holidays such as these.

"When it comes to life, the central thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude." ~G.K. Chesterton~


++Wishing a Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving To All ++

Thirteen Blessed Years!

It has been a very blessed 13 years!

~Happy Anniversary to my hero~

"There is no remedy for love but to love more..."

~Henry David Thoreau~

This quote seems to be the theme for my life and oh, what a blessing!  Our heart's capacity to love and still love more and more, never ceases to amaze me.  

Since my dear husband is in the middle of his busy fire season, we are apart most of this week.  We pray that some "together" time is in our near future....So in his absence, I would like to honor our 13 years by singing praises of thanksgiving for the many ways I love him.

13 Ways (For 13 Years) That I Love My Love:

1.  I love his Godly heart.

2. I love the times he is home with us, just being a family.

3.  I love the way he loves me for who I am.

4.  I love the way he owns my heart.

5.  I love how he always reaches for my hand when I need it the most.

6.  I love his laugh.

7.  I love that he works so hard for us.

8.  I love when he makes me coffee.

9.  I love that he always "tries" to kiss me first when he walks in the door, even if he's bombarded with children;)

10. I love when he takes care of me.

11.  I love that we go to bed at the same time...Together.

12.  I love his charitable, sweet, self...That he is the epitome of a nice guy!

13.  I love that God brought us together!

Like Father, Like Son

My husband just sent me these photos from work.  I got a kick out of them since our 12 year old is SO like Father, like Son.  He is old enough to go to work with Dad and believe me, he takes advantage of it every chance he can get.  I think we have discovered some very strong interests and it's a blessing that he's been able to explore them with Dad. The Fire Station was his class room for today.  

Army Dude is also working on his Fire Prevention Boy Scout merit badge.  This was the perfect place to get it done.  Being Mom, I always worry about what our little man might "see" or what danger might be lurking...My beloved Captain reassures me not to fret.  He always starts his day with the rosary on the way to work and today was no exception.  I smile as I picture father and son praying on their early morning 90 mile commute, before the sun comes up.  This alone brings peace to a mother's heart.  In addition to their armor of God, back-up plans exist and measures are taken to shield Army Dude when necessary.  I trust in Captain as my husband, father to our children, and  professional servant.  He is a first responder that takes his job to heart.

Army Dude loves living the firefighter life...Sleeping in the dorm is part of the excitement!

I am told that Army Dude is required to help take care of this rig.  He helps keep it clean and assists with all of the appropriate engine checks.  This includes washing!

I wonder who long this took?

Reports have been made that he is also quite enthusiastic about his chores around the fire station and never complains about cooking or cleaning.

Hmmm, I'm going to remember that one!

If you ask me, I think he looks pretty comfortable....Like Father, like Son.

Bleating Like A Sheep

Cookies we made last year for Good Shepherd's Sunday

Dear Shepherd, hear my cry. 

My husband has been on duty at the firestation for days on end now.  Normally I can handle his absence pretty well.  But this particular weekend, I'm just darned tired.  I miss him, I miss our family unity on the weekends, especially at Mass.  I miss family dinners and grow weary of taking care of family business alone. 

Does this photo give you a clue?

I could go on and on but I will refrain from too much whining.  Do you ever just have bad days? I have been praying all weekend for God's abundant grace to just rain down on me.  I sat in Mass trying to listen to the readings, despite my 3 year old's incessant loud whispers.  How fitting that it is Good Shepherd's Sunday because I sure felt like one big sheep!  I just sat there quietly bleating in the pew as I knew that I had strayed into the darkness of the night, feeling sorry for myself as I had scattered from the fold in my mind.   

Suddenly the lines of the First Reading grabbed my heart like a shepherd's crook...

"Beloved:  If you are patient when you suffer for doing what is good, this is a grace from God.  For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps."  And then the last line: "For you had gone astray like sheep, but you have now returned to the shepherd  and guardian of your souls."~1 Peter 2:20-25~

How's that for being thrown back into the sheepfold?

Praise God for graces received as my heart was renewed by the Mass.

Even though this time and place still holds its challenges, I know my Shepherd is prodding me a long, poking me with His staff and guiding me to stay close, ever mindful of the temptation to stray.  In my helpless bleating, there is no better place to surrender than the sheepfold.  There is no place like home, pressed up against my Master like one of his sheep that has been rescued.  I am safe and secure at His feet, those same feet that were nailed to the Cross on my behalf and that of the whole world.

I gave up the temptation to serve chicken nuggets for dinner and will joyfully honor the Good Shepherd with the same dinner that we had last year.  See that post and feel free to copy!

Good Shepherd's Pie

Field of Greens Salad

Shepherd's Staff Breadsticks

And Sheep Cookies for Dessert!

"Thus says the Lord God: I myself will look after and tend my sheep.  As a shepherd tends his flock when he finds himself among his scattered sheep, so will I tend my sheep.  I will rescue them from every place where they were scattered when it was cloudy and dark."~Ezekiel 34: 11

Reflections of a Firefighter's Wife

As St. Francis de Sales said, "We must begin with love, continue with love, and end with love."

I am thankful for the love of this man, my dear husband who is the St. Joseph of our family. He works so hard and never complains. He is often away from our family for several days but he still comes home ready to serve and care for us. I am so thankful to God for bringing him into my life and for the love we share.

I recently read a beautiful quote by Pope Benedict XVI that I thought was fitting to my husband: "Being a Christian means essentially changing over from being for oneself to being for one another."

I pray for the intercession of St. Florian and St. Michael to keep him safe while he is away from us.

PRAYER TO
SAINT MICHAEL
THE ARCHANGEL

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen..

O glorious prince St. Michael,
chief and commander of the heavenly hosts,
guardian of souls, vanquisher of rebel spirits,
servant in the house of the Divine King
and our admirable conductor,
you who shine with excellence
and superhuman virtue deliver us from all evil
, who turn to you with confidence
and enable us by your gracious protection
to serve God more and more faithfully every day.