Though an Army Encamp Me...

Warning!  This is a very real post.

Last night, I was at my wits end.  It seemed as though I couldn't take another moment, alone with the kids, missing my husband, their "daddy"...It's just been a very, very, long 12 days without him.  (And my Mom sick on top of it all?) Have you ever had moments that you just felt surrounded by the enemy and you just can't break out to even say a prayer for yourself?  I'm normally a strong person but for some reason, I was suddenly weak.

The kids are tired too and they miss their Dad.

The sibling fights and the sharp tongues nearly brought me down.

I think one of the hardest parts about parenting is having to be "ON" all the time.  You are their model for behavior, faith practice...you name it, everything!  I just hate it when I lose control and my temper fuels the (already) roaring fire.  I call into question my vocation and why God has chosen me for something that I don't feel equipped to do or be.  Does this sound like spiritual warfare, or what?

With that being said, it is true that when we are weak, we are strong, if we trust in the Lord...
3 good things happened!

1. Part of the words to Psalm 27 suddenly popped into my head.  All I could remember was something about an "army encamping me" because that was how I felt. I looked it up, read the whole thing and the words Holy Spirit carried me through the night...I couldn't even pray my usual evening prayers or the rosary as I was utterly exhausted.  It's title is "Trust in God."  The verse that settled in my heart was verse 3:

"Though an army encamp against me,

my heart does not fear;

Though war be waged against me,

even then do I trust."

Psalm 27:3

2.  I had planned on writing a love letter to each of the children as a "surprise" for our first day of school. (Tomorrow!)  I will still be working on those the rest of the day!!!....But I have added to the idea.  With all of the sibling fighting going on, I decided that our first writing assignment (tomorrow) will include them writing love letters to one another, picking at least 3 qualities that they love about that person.  We will start by drawing names and work our way through the family!   I am thinking this will be a new tradition, at least annually, if not more.

3.  One of the children actually thanked me for the discipline measure that I used to correct behavior for their sharp tongue.  I couldn't believe it!??  Have you ever had a child thank you for their punishment?  I sure haven't. He had to write sentences for his disrespect, then he slipped a note under my bathroom door while I was getting ready for church this morning.  It was an apology note and thank you for the "lesson learned!"  No doubt, God had His hand in this one:)

OK, so I'm feeling better and our pilgrims will be home tomorrow night.  We will kick off our school year tomorrow, on the Queenship of Mary...Our Lady will surely be with us, guiding and keeping us close to Jesus.  I will trust as we start anew. And the last lines of Psalm 27:

"But I believe I shall enjoy the Lord's goodness

 in the land of the living.  

Wait for the Lord, take courage;

be stouthearted, wait for the Lord."

A huge Thank You for anyone who  might have been praying for my Mom.  It seems she has a third diagnosis (strange pneumonia that I can't pronounce) and she will slowly be getting better soon.  She is still in the faraway hospital but we are praying she will be home this week!