Listen to God's voice at the foot of the crucifix." ~St. Gaspar del Bufaro~

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Your Move, God

I am not a "natural" when it comes to homeschooling.  As I mentioned before, it was God's calling that brought me here.  I always trust that if He changes His mind, He will show me the way, a new path, an open door...

Each year I pray for the grace of God to begin another year.  Eight years later, I am still here where He has called me to be ready to serve, though feeling weak, not always confident and definitely not worthy.
I have a neat story to share in hopes that it might bring strength and a little light to others who may be feeling weak in any area of life...

Last year I intentionally brought all of my feelings of inadequacy to the Lord during my first Holy Hour in August.  By the way, it is here that I go to receive my "Marching Orders" every year:)  I opened a book called Your Move, God, that my spiritual director had recommended. I randomly providentially read this passage on Pg. 45:
"It is not you who call yourself to this work.
It is I, the Lord, your God.
It is I, your Beloved Father.
It is I, the Holy Spirit, who call you.
It will be my work.
It will be for My people and it will be for My glory.
I will use you as you come before Me
in the spirit of humility
in the spirit of littleness
in the spirit of renouncing your own spirit, your own will, your own desires, your own vision, your own everything."
I considered these my 2010/11 Marching Orders, followed by this final passage:
"Unite yourself to Me
your Beloved Father
your Beloved Bridegroom
your Beloved Holy Spirit
and I will use you mightily."
(Pg. 46)
I really have no idea how the Lord used me last year and it's beyond me to even think about.  What is within my realm of thought is to keep moving forward, trusting in Him as my Beloved Father.  Like the title of the book, it's Your Move, God.
Fast forward to this year...
I have not picked up this book since last year.  I'm not really sure why?....Other books just inched their way to the front of the line.  So it was a God-incidence that I grabbed it this morning for my Holy Hour, the first one in August. It's another new school year, go figure.
Praying in earnest for God's grace to jump start my heart, I turned to this passage on Pg. 54:

"We are living in the age of knowledge explosion.  Some 250,000 books are published each year.  Yet all this knowledge can explode in our faces unless it helps us to know the most basic fact of our existence: God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him.  Whatever else we learn from books, if they deny this, they deny everything."
We need to adopt a habit of surrender with each book we pick up.  Then we pray, "Your Move, God, He moves!"

I went on to read this paragraph that really spoke to me as this year's "Marching Orders":
(I was moved to tears...)
"The grace of littleness is by no means a little thing
it is a big thing to be little before your God.
It is a big grace and I gift you with it because in your littleness I can indeed be big.
I can be for you Yahweh, the Powerful One.
As I bless you with littleness, no matter how educated you are
you will become like a little child.
(The tears came here)
Even your thoughts will come forth
with a new realization of littleness.
In the past you have been heard to say
"When I was little, I used to think."
This day I give to you the grace, the power, the holy wit, to say "When I was big, I used to think."

This final passage really spoke to me as I struggle to plan for the new school year....(Pg. 55)
"I can only use you when you are little and simple before Me.
When you get too big with ideas and plans of your own, I cannot use you.
So let go of your need to have it all figured out.
I, your God, have it all figured out.
I know exactly what I want to do.
I know exactly how I want to do it.
I know exactly when I want to do it.
My time-table is perfect.
As long as you remain little,
you will be perfectly on My time-table.

And how about this as a reminder that I am not in control? (Pg. 56)  Can you relate?
"I love you, My little one,
but my annointing does not come upon you all at once.
You are somewhat like the car that is filled with gasoline and travels a long way.
The gasoline gets lower and lower in the tank.
So you need to stop at the filling station to get filled once again.
I do this on purpose with you that you may stay in that perfect rhythm of dependence on Me that you may come to Me always as your source.
It is with great purpose that you sometimes experience great emptiness......"


I ask you to do nothing that a little child cannot do.  What can a child do? 
It can listen, love, and obey.
My grace is enough for you. I see your weakness, My child, weakness in your flesh to watch with Me 
in your spirit to hear My voice 
in your will to use My gifts....
Be content to be weak 
for in it is My magnificent strength.
Those most effective in My ministry
are those most aware of their weakness, their inadequacy, their imperfections..
because then they rely on My strength, My goodness, and My perfection.

So there, I shall be content to be weak as I move forward...Not My move but Your Move, God.


  1. Continued prayers for you, your homeschooling year, your precious family and faith journey.

    May the Good Lord abundantly bless you and continue to give you the graces to see your weakness.

    Thank you for sharing you journey and blessing others with your beautiful reflections.

    Pax Christi - Lena

  2. This is beautiful! I needed to read this today, thanks for sharing.

  3. Tiffany, you've received beautiful marching orders for your school year (and for every day life too!). what struck me is that in order for you to seek those marching orders and be open to them, you had to make yourself little and weak! God bless you in your homeschooling journey. Isn't it wonderful when we know what God wants of us!!

  4. Oh, I need this too. I might have to get that book! I think I always have these big goals for the school year and then the first day happens, not the way I imagine it with fresh homemade cookies and happy children eager to learn and listen to everything I say. It never goes that way.

    You are not alone. I know this is a calling, to homeschool and it's the only thing that keeps me going.

  5. This is EXACTLY how I felt all summer. Too weak to pray heartily. My hearty prayers were small lines, more of a whimper. I was a very little child. But I knew that there were bigger and stronger people around me lifting me up. Thank you for the prayers, my friend!!

  6. That's beautiful Tiffany. It's reassuring that statement of "it is with great purpose that you sometimes feel great emptiness." What a reminder that during those times we are not abandoned as I am prone to think. Blessings for your new school year with your children1 I can hardly believe that summer is over.

  7. Such beautiful quotes Tiffany! Blessings to you and your family as you begin another school year!

  8. All good stuff - things that we home schooling moms need to hear and be reminded of again and again. This is where I have been working towards for the past year and a half.

    I am not in control.
    I cannot have what I want when I want it.
    God will give me what I need when I need it.

    Thanks for sharing! May God bring you abundant blessings this upcoming school year and make your heart open to all the graces He's showering down upon you! :-)

  9. Wow. That was powerful and I thank you for sharing this. I can relate in my homeschooling journey and my health.

    Blessings to you and your kids as you step into your new homeschooling year... :)

  10. Tiffany, I tagged you for a blog MEME. Please stop by my blog to learn more about it!

  11. Thank you for sharing that Tiffany! This is exactly what I needed to read today. I too share similar feelings and it really feeds my soul to read this. Many blessings to you and your family for the upcoming school year!


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