Listen to God's voice at the foot of the crucifix." ~St. Gaspar del Bufaro~

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Kindred Spirits

Crystal & Tiffany
Kindred Spirits~Birthday Buddies

This kindred friendship is one of the biggest blessings of my widowhood and life in general.  It was certainly heaven-sent to say the least!
We were born just 4 days apart in the same year, in the same County...God had a plan for us.  Two baby girls would grow to share a story that only the future would tell....We still dream of writing a book:)

Skip forward quite a few years... We both married men who would serve in the military, just 60 miles apart before their death.  
Tragically, we both lost these men, just 6 weeks apart in 1994.  We were 27 and our husbands were both 30 who had also lost one brother before them.   I had a 6 month old child to raise but Crystal had not yet been blessed with any children.

The good Lord saw to it that we should finally meet...The only 2 "young" widows at a Hospice Loss of Spouse Group.  It was an instant spiritual connection as we shared the many things we had in common, including how our lives had paralleled up to this point of intersection. We mourned the loss of  life and love as we knew it, clinging to the hope of the future.  
This kindred spirit was a light in my darkness as I struggled with my faith and the deep suffering in my life...She had already lost her Mother as well. Like the sturdy vines of this tree, we grew together, leaning on the Lord alone.  (Though I had much more work to do than she!)
As we each discovered our suffering as a great gift, we found the truth in that it is only "through the cross that we are united to Him who was nailed on it." (Bl. Charles de Foucauld)

Journeying forward, we both found new love, re-married, and experienced the joys of motherhood.  The love in our lives prevailed.
Dearest Crystal, however, continued to suffer many more trials.  Just as fast as God relieved her of one suffering, He sent her another.  She is one of His most beloved friends.  This amazing soul has persevered and keeps on shining her light, loving others as He has loved her.  She pays it forward each and every day...I am honored to be her friend.
 Love continues to be the common theme in our lives...We are both richly blessed and living proof that God's grace never fails.  We know that we are just passing through this life and nothing compares to the life that awaits us.  We do our best to embrace our sufferings, knowing for certain, that all sorrows lead to joy.
"Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.  Resolve to keep happy, and your joy shall form an invincible hope against difficulty."~Helen Keller~
I am forever grateful for this kindred spirit...A living testimony to God's unconditional love.  We celebrate 45 years on earth and 16 years of friendship, both treasures we never take for granted!

"We are not discouraged; rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal."~2 Corinthians 4:16-18~

God Is Beautiful...
(Author Unknown)

I asked God to take away my pain.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
Her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings.  Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhh, finally you have the idea!


  1. this is a beautiful tribute to your friend, and a post friendship you two share. Things held together with the glue of God last and last!

  2. Wow, Tiffany. A beautiful post recognizing such an amazing gift. I love Gardenia's comment about "....the glue of God."

  3. What a beautiful story of friendship, made in Christ. Through the ashes. You found eachother. Good comes out of your suffering.

    God bless you both!

  4. Wow how amazing! Sometimes friendship can be such a beautiful thing! God bless you both!!

    I'm a new follower from Catholic Mothers Online. :o)

    Feel free to stop by my blog anytime!

    For Love of Cupcakes

  5. You are blessed to have such a friend in your life! You look like sisters. :) May God bless you both!

  6. Tiffany, this is beautiful. What a gift that has come out of a tragedy - God is good! You do look like sisters :) Thanks for sharing your story, its inspiring.


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