Tides of Life...Holding On, Letting Go.

I seem to be holding on to a lot of stuff lately.  Not stuff as in material things but stuff as in the trials of the heart.  I was reflecting on this as I took a little Labor Day jaunt to the lake with the 3 youngest kids and my parents.  It gave me time to think and pray (as dear husband and next oldest son worked at the fire department).  There I stood on this gorgeous beach, just holding on to all of my stuff, feeling stuck and rather stranded, to be honest.  Being a person of faith, you know with all your heart that your faith really is a stunning lake. In fact, it's down right glorious (just like this photo) but sometimes you're just stuck on the shore, despite the obvious beauty and blessings that scream out for you to notice and beckon you to embrace them.

I know I just need to let go and let God...Yet I stood here, like a stubborn rock, holding on to my sorrows for dear life.  I know that changes in life make me better and stronger but it's just plain hard to let go.  Inevitably, the tide rolled right over me... OF course it did!

  I was getting splashed and bumped around for awhile before I began to realize that standing on the shore is safe for awhile but sooner or later, it's time to let go.  It's time to let go; It's time to move forward with courage and trust.

 The unknown tries to get me.  Yet I know God has fabulous plans out there on the heavenly horizon... Just as St. Paul exhorted, it is also my inmost desire to "Be on guard, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong." (1 Cor. 16:13)

In the meantime, the good Lord is so patient.  He enamored me with the glory of His creation.  He wrapped me in His arms of loving beauty...God is always so good.

The once-in-a-blue-moon over the lake romanced the spirit of my soul.  It really was breath-taking!

My Dad brought his old kayak that hadn't been used for years.  I found it rather symbolic as we prepared to cast off from the shore.  There are some really great biblical references to boats but for some reason the gospel of Luke (5:33-39) hit home for me this week. Jesus tells the parable of the wineskins and how the new wine cannot be poured into the old wineskins, otherwise they will be ruined.  New wine must be poured into fresh wineskins.

Leaving the beach was a good step towards letting go. I was struck, though not surprised, at the the stillness of my spirit, the solitude, the peace.  As we paddled far from shore, I sensed the freedom of leaving all of my stuff behind. It was certainly a tangible reminder that letting go really does set us free...Free to become a fresh new wineskin, a new dwelling place for God's holy will in our lives.  (Not surprising, I always feel the same way after the Sacrament of Reconciliation).  

So now the problem was that we let go and we didn't want to come back!  Even the kids could have paddled around ALL day...You bet, they felt the protection of that peace!  In fact, my Dad noted that we "used the heck out of that old kayak!"  I guess we just kept going back for another piece of that peace:)  

We were able to walk to this quaint little church on Sunday...Another little piece of peace via the Holy Eucharist, the Bread of Life.

When all was said and done, I'd venture to say that there are no easy answers but there are answers. Moving forward to unchartered waters is just plain difficult but it is the answer and it's what we are called to do as Catholic Christians...The tides of our hearts ebb and flow as we continuously hold on and let go through our entire lives.  Pain is really just a small price to pay for the peace that God promises for following His plan, His Cross, His Salvation.   We can certainly stand at the shore and hold on tight for awhile but ultimately it really doesn't loose the bonds that tie us there.  The image of hopping in the boat and paddling into the arms of peace and love really does help me practice letting go of my stuff.  I don't know about you but I need the practice...I no sooner let go and I'm taking stuff right back.
 Starting today, what do you say...Let's sail away!